Why ADHD Mums Don’t Need More Motivation:
They Need Regulation

If you're a mum with ADHD (or think you might be) you're probably familiar with the shame spiral that comes from not being able to “just get stuff done.”

(Like me, trying to write this blog. I literally did a headstand on the sofa before sitting down to focus. It helped. 😊)

You want to tidy the house, get to the post office, reply to that school email... but your body won't budge. Tasks pile up, overwhelm kicks in, and suddenly you’re deep in frustration, guilt, or even shame.

You scroll social media, come across motivational quotes or a convincing new planning app (hello, dopamine hit), but it doesn’t help and just adds to the pile. Because the real issue isn’t motivation. It’s regulation.
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Your nervous system is probably completely dysregulated.

So what does that mean anyway? And how can you fix it (preferably right now this actual moment)? Bear with me! Let’s break it down:

The ADHD Motivation Myth

You’ve probably heard of “executive dysfunction". It’s a core ADHD symptom where your brain struggles with planning, prioritising, and starting tasks. It’s not about laziness, lack of willpower, or being disorganised. It’s that your brain is overwhelmed. And when that happens, your nervous system kicks into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze (or all three in a single morning if you're anything like me). But listen...

You’re not lazy. You’re in survival mode.​
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And that changes everything. Because...

What Happens When You’re Dysregulated?

When your nervous system feels unsafe or overstimulated (like I said, it's a common ADHD state), it shuts off access to your prefrontal cortex - this is your rational, decision-making “wise owl” brain. When this shuts down, you might experience:

• Emotional outbursts, irrational mood swings, and poor impulse control (shouting, swearing, feeling like hitting that pillow?)
• Avoidance, distraction, or even complete shutdown (hello to hiding in the bathroom or endless scrolling on your phone - we've all been there)
• Inability to start even basic tasks, despite wanting to (frustration builds...exhaustion looms)

So no, I'm sorry to say another new app or notebook won’t help. Neither will beating yourself up. Your nervous system needs to feel safe before anything else can happen. And you have the complete power to make this happen yourself - you just need to know what to do and when.

Regulation Over Willpower
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​For years, I thought yoga was just about keeping my body strong and flexible. And for sure, it definitely helped as I swanned around to all the lovely classes I could fit in back when I had all the time in the world - but I was only working on the surface. What I didn’t realise until a little while later, was that the real magic of yoga lies underneath: in its power to regulate the nervous system, especially when you've got an ADHD brain like mine.

But let’s be honest when I first heard words like "breathwork" or "mindfulness", I literally rolled my eyes and considered running for the hills. Sitting still? Breathing slowly? Noooooo thank you. My ADHD brain was having none of that - plus it didn't sound like it was going to do anything for my arms (I know, I actually did think this).

Eventually though, I found ways to invite these new practices into my life - to find a way to make them doable, easy and even enjoyable. And that’s when things began to change.

Yoga, movement, and simple mindset tools became more than just habits. They became my anchors in the ocean of parenting - ways to shift out of fight-or-flight, come back into my body, and feel calm and in control again.
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So remember, you don’t need to push harder, force yourself to “focus,” or read another parenting book. And you aren't lacking motivation. You need regulation.

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🌿 Want to Try It for Yourself?

If you're ready to go deeper than these few quick tips and finally make calm feel achievable, even on the hardest ADHD mum days, then I've got something right here for you.
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It’s a gentle, ADHD-friendly workbook full of simple tools to help you shift out of overwhelm and back into a calmer, more grounded state of being - where calm and content you lives and thrives.

✅ No long routines
✅ No guilt trips
✅ Just easy strategies that work (even if you're hiding in the car for five minutes of peace.)

Workbook: From Frazzled to Regulated (Download Here Now)

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Here are some easy ways to regulate your nervous system right now - things you can do at home, even with the children running wild (as they should be):

4 Easy Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System in Minutes

1. Breathe (softly, not slowly): Close your eyes and take a few soft breaths in and out through your nose. Let your whole body join in. Sounds simple I know - but how often do you actually do this!?
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2. Legs up reset: Lie on the floor and pop your legs up the wall or onto a nearby chair. System reset in progress. (Watch out for any children that think this is playtime though - try and get them to join you.)
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3. Hummingbird breath: In a quiet moment (or bathroom), put your fingers in your ears, close your eyes and gently hum. It’s deeply calming for your nervous system (my fave).
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4. Reassure yourself: Place a hand on your chest and say out loud, “It’s okay. I’m calm. I can do this.” (Your mind is listening!)

These all signals you can clearly make to your body to show that you’re safe. And when your body believes that, your brain can finally function again - we call this space 'The Window of Tolerance'.

Ready to do this?

Before you can get back to being that thriving, calm and in-control mum you know you can be, you might need a few more tools to help your nervous system settle.
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That’s why I created the free 3-Day Calm Down Kit - full of simple, body-based ways to reset and feel more in control again, but in your own time and with your own rules. Three-days worth of tools just for you. You don't have to do it all at once - just think of it as loading up your tool box!

👉 Get your free 3-Day Calm Down Kit here​

Want more support like this?

📱 Instagram: @theadhdyogamum
📘 Facebook: The ADHD Yoga Mum

Let’s make calm and in-control your starting point - one breath, one moment, one day at a time.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

Caroline x