Blog: You’re Not Lazy: Understanding the ADHD Nervous System and Energy Crashes
You’re Not Lazy: Understanding the ADHD Nervous System and Energy CrashesIf you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just get going? I was fine this morning - what happened?” then you’re not alone, I promise. As an ADHD mum, navigating daily life can feel like riding a rollercoaster. One minute you’re buzzing with energy, the next you’re utterly depleted, drowning in guilt for not “doing enough.” But let’s make one thing very clear: you are not lazy. What you’re experiencing is a very real, very misunderstood part of ADHD and that thing is nervous system dysregulation. The ADHD Nervous System: It’s Just Wired DifferentlyADHD isn’t just about attention, it’s a whole-body condition rooted in how your brain and nervous system function. At its core, ADHD is about dysregulation - of attention, emotions, energy, and arousal. This means your nervous system swings more easily between extremes: hyper-alert and hypo-aroused (shut-down). And those swings can feel like energy “crashes” that come out of nowhere. ADHD brains struggle to self-regulate, especially under stress. That’s why something as simple as a loud breakfast rush or a tantrum from one of your children can send your nervous system into survival mode. Your body isn’t failing, it’s just doing what it can to protect you. But when your brain stays stuck in that mode, the result is fatigue, brain fog, and that frustrating inability to “just get on and start.” Why You’re Not Lazy: You’re Overstimulated or Shut DownLet’s break this down with a nervous system lens:
ADHD mums often spend too much time outside their regulated “window,” especially if they’re masking, people-pleasing, multitasking, or endlessly firefighting family needs. That’s why you crash on the sofa with zero energy to move by the end of the day, even if the laundry’s screaming at you. It’s not about willpower or motivation — it’s about nervous system bandwidth. What’s Actually Going On in Your Body?When your nervous system is dysregulated, it’s essentially stuck in the wrong gear. It’s trying to keep you safe, but it’s overdoing it, like a smoke alarm going off every time you make toast. There are two main branches of your autonomic nervous system:
In a balanced system, you move between these states naturally all day long. But with chronic stress, ADHD, or emotional overload, your system can get stuck in overdrive (anxious, tense, restless) or completely crash (foggy, flat, drained) and it's hard to know how to get out of one and into the other! Also, this dysregulation doesn’t just affect your energy. It can mess with your digestion, sleep, focus, emotions, and even how connected you feel to your kids or partner. So hear me out - it’s not that you’re “too sensitive” (or too anything in fact), it’s that your beautifully wired system is working overtime. You’re doing your best to keep up when things around you don't always help. Energy Crashes Aren’t Character FlawsWhen your body finally gets a break, it may default to a kind of paralysis. This is when it's important to realise that you’re not being useless - you’re simply recovering. These crashes can happen after busy social events, the school run, intense conversations, or even after a few hours of hyperfocus. And when that crash hits, shame has a habit of creeping in: “I should be doing more.” But pushing through often backfires. It’s like trying to sprint on a broken ankle. What Helps: Movement, Breath, and Regulation (Not a dose of motivation)You don’t need to do any more stuff and you're certainly not lacking in motivation. In fact, I bet you're full of enthusiasm and motivation most of the time! I think what you do need are regulation rituals that meet your mind, body and nervous system where it is right now. Here’s what helps:
This is the core of my approach in both my free Calm-Down Kit and (coming soon!) in my follow-up yoga course. We don’t shame the crash - we just learn to ride the wave with compassion. You Deserve Rest Without ShameIf your body is tired, it’s asking for restoration, not criticism. ADHD mums are often “go-go-go” until the tank is bone dry. Let’s stop glorifying burnout and start honoring these beautiful, sensitive, adaptive nervous systems we have. Look at all the things it's done for us so far. You can't tell me you haven't got a bank of amazing memories from all the things you've tried, done, visited and explored! Anyhow, let's remember again for the record (and I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken one) but: you are not lazy (far from it!). You are not broken. You have everything you need inside of you. Do some yoga! |